When we talk about inclusion, we often focus on individual backgrounds and characteristics —such as culture and race, gender, religion, sexual orientation etc. — and creating spaces where everyone feels a sense of belonging. These are critical components of inclusion, but they are just the beginning. A deeper, often overlooked layer of inclusion is how we engage with people whose ideas, values, or perspectives differ from our own.

Can we truly call ourselves inclusive if we don’t listen to those we disagree with?

This includes listening to people who may disagree with current approaches to diversity and inclusion. While difficult to do in practice, ‘cancelling’ and not engaging with opposing views only adds fuel to the fire of dissenting voices. For organisations to benefit from diversity and inclusion, not just make progress, being able to listen to and work through differences is a critical skill.

For leaders, the answer to this question is pivotal. Listening—particularly to those who challenge us—is the key to a ‘speak up’ culture, collaboration, innovation, and the ability to navigate complexity. It is not easy, however, as it requires humility, openness, and courage.

Costs of Not Listening to People You Disagree With

Some leaders may believe that it’s more efficient and easier to work with people who agree with them. While it may appear to be efficient on the surface, there are many costs to not listening to dissenting voices, including:

1. Missed Innovation: Disagreement sparks new ideas. Innovation thrives on constructive friction; without it, organisations stagnate in comfortable thinking and predictable results.
2. Reinforced Blind Spots: Avoiding dissent strengthens biases and leaves critical assumptions unchallenged. Disagreement shines a light on our assumptions, helping us navigate complexity with greater clarity and humility.
3. Elevated Risk: Disagreement often surfaces early warning signs — whether it’s a flawed strategy, cultural toxicity, or compliance gaps. Silencing it increases exposure to preventable risks.
4. Eroded Trust: People watch how disagreement is handled. When people can’t safely disagree, trust breaks down and psychological safety disappears.
5. Weaker Decisions: Disagreement is an essential form of due diligence. Without dissent, decisions go untested — leading to shallow thinking and poor outcomes.
6. Undermined Inclusion: People notice when their views aren’t welcomed — especially if they come from underrepresented groups. True inclusion means all voices are heard, especially those that challenge the norm.
7. Stuck Problems: Difficult issues persist when we are unwilling to engage with opposing perspectives. People who do not feel listened to will often dig their heels in further.

Why we don’t listen when we disagree

Even if you know that it is important to listen to diverse viewpoints, we have a tendency to either shut down, smooth over, or flee from disagreements. Listening goes out the door, sometimes with the slightest hint of friction. While we each have different capacities, below are some reasons why we stop listening when disagreements emerge:

• Discomfort: When someone expresses a view contrary to ours, it can feel like a threat to our identity, beliefs, or competence. It takes awareness, courage and energy to sit with the discomfort.
• Ego and righteousness: Our ego feels threatened when our ideas are challenged, especially when we have strong beliefs. The underlying righteousness and fear of being wrong can result in defensive responses.
• Fear of conflict: Disagreements can feel like conflict, or the start of conflict, and feel scary for many people. Fear of conflict can lead to keeping conversations shallow such that the real issues never get discussed or listened to.
• Mental and emotional inflexibility: Our mental and emotional capacities can become inflexible due to the fears and discomfort. Our walls go up and our listening becomes limited.
• Worry that listening means agreeing: We forget that listening means listening, not accepting, agreeing or compromising. Listening provides us with the opportunity to choose to agree, not agree, or uncover a new way forward. Failing to listen keeps us stuck.
• Enemifying: We mentally turn people who disagree with us into ‘enemies’. Once we turn people into ‘enemies’ and label them* it becomes difficult to listen to what they are saying**.

The Leadership Imperative: Listening to Disagreement

Leaders play a significant role in setting the tone for how disagreement is handled within teams and organisations. A truly inclusive leader actively seeks out dissenting opinions and creates a safe space for those voices to be heard. Why? Because they know the benefits of listening to different views.

For example, consider a leadership team debating a strategic decision. If the loudest or most senior voices dominate or dissent is stifled, the organisation risks groupthink—a dynamic where the desire for consensus overrides critical evaluation. However, a leader who listens deeply, asks clarifying questions, and values opposing views fosters a culture of psychological safety and critical thinking. This culture encourages diverse contributions, resulting in more robust and effective decision-making.

One of the Quietly Powerful Leaders I interviewed, Steve Hodgkinson, told me that he would regularly share his ideas with his executive team and ask them to pull it apart and challenge him. The team would then bring their ideas, to which he listened carefully to refine his ideas and decisions. One team member told me that “This was the best executive team I’ve worked with” because he felt listened to and that his views mattered.

Inclusion Beyond Comfort Zones

True inclusion is not about creating spaces free of conflict or disagreement. It’s about fostering environments where all voices, including dissenting ones, can be heard and valued. As leaders, this may mean stepping out of our comfort zones, setting aside biases, and listening to those we disagree with as an intentional practice of respect and curiosity.

When we listen to people we disagree with, we don’t just build bridges between differing viewpoints; we strengthen our own leadership, deepen relationships, and unlock the collective potential of our teams. The path to this level of inclusion is not easy, but it is worth it.

Would you or your team benefit from improving how you listen during disagreements?

Written by Megumi Miki, with Anna Reeve and Leigh Gassner, co-founders of Leaders who Listen. We aim to develop leaders who create a listening environment of safety and space within their organisations to enable better decision making, drive growth and innovation, enhance collaboration and inclusion, and manage risk. If you’d like to understand how your leadership team can engage in productive disagreements, contact us about our Leaders who Listen assessment tools, presentations, masterclasses and development programs.