How often do you tell people to “speak up more”?

• Maybe you have a quiet team member that you really want to hear more from.
• Maybe you want some feedback from team members and they’re not giving it to you.
• Maybe you have team members who speak to you individually but say nothing in meetings.
• Maybe you found out about issues too late and want to avoid that happening again.

In any case, you have a sense that you are missing out on useful, sometimes critical information when people do not speak to you or don’t speak up in meetings.

And you are probably right, as Stephen Hawking said “The quietest voices have the loudest minds” so you may be missing out on some deep thoughts, observations, and imagination.

I think it is for this reason, I regularly get asked by leaders how to get people – especially quieter people – to speak up more.

So it is with good intent that you encourage, invite, ask, tell people to speak up more.

But… Did you know that telling people to “speak up more” doesn’t really help? In fact, it might make things worse.

Over 70% of quiet professionals I surveyed recently said that one of the most unhelpful types of feedback they have received in their careers was to speak up more.

The reasons why it’s unhelpful include:

𝗟𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆: It’s not specific enough for the person to do anything with. Just like any other feedback, specificity matters. What is it you want to hear from them?

𝗖𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲/𝗮𝗻𝘅𝗶𝗲𝘁𝘆: For many it causes people to feel anxious that they haven’t spoken up in a meeting. And that anxiety causes people to freeze, to overthink, not be present such that the right thing to say does not come to mind.

𝗦𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗽 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲: It can become more about impression management rather than contribution. So people may start to speak to be seen regardless of the substance. This can crowd out the important contributions you really need to hear.

𝗟𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗲, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀: For some people who have a lot to contribute but they simply cannot find the space to join the conversation, it can be off-putting to be told to speak up. You may need to tell the dominant people to listen instead.

𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗽 𝗱𝘂𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗼𝗼𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: Some people may have given up speaking up because you or your team do not listen very well. Perhaps they have tried and got interrupted or didn’t get listened to. Eventually they start thinking, ‘why bother’.

So if you have quieter people you really want to hear from, how do you get them to speak up more?

I get asked this question A LOT.

While the intent is positive that people want to hear the quieter voices, the underlying tone is that the quieter individual has to be made to speak up, that they need to fix their quietness.

Telling people to speak up and expecting that they do is like throwing seeds on the ground and hoping that they sprout without making sure the ground has fertile, watered soil, enough sunlight, and your care. Some seeds may spout but many will not.

What can you do instead?

Below are the critical elements that enable you to engage the quieter voices (which actually makes your meetings more productive), using this analogy of sprouting seeds:

𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗶𝗹: 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴? How clear is the purpose? Is the meeting structure designed appropriately given the group size to ensure contributions? What roles are attendees expecting to play? Is this different to the roles you would like people to play? What preparation have you asked people to do?

𝗘𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿: 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲? Do people feel safe to speak up? What topics are ok to speak about vs not? How aware are you of the power dynamics in the room and how it affects the conversation quality? Is there enough space for people to join the conversation? Have you built enough trust and relationships in the group to hold important or at times difficult conversations?

𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗳𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀: 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆? Is there enough care for the contributions, such as through good listening and question asking? Are people present? Are diverse perspectives encouraged and acknowledged, even when you disagree? How are interruptions managed? How constructively do you work through disagreements? Do you check in with people afterwards?

𝗦𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲: 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝗻𝘃𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗯𝘂𝘁𝗲? You might ask some people individually, especially quieter people, if you really want them to speak up and bring their expertise and knowledge. You might ask them, “I’d really appreciate it if you can think about X and share your perspectives in our meeting on Y because I know you have more expertise than anyone else on this topic.”

It takes adaptation from both the quieter individual and the people around them to have their voices heard. It’s not just up to the individual, nor is it just up to the leader or the team, either.

How well do you create an environment where diverse views are harnessed?

Written by Megumi Miki, with Anna Reeve and Leigh Gassner, co-founders of Leaders who Listen. We aim to develop leaders who create a listening environment of safety and space within their organisations to enable better decision making, drive growth and innovation, enhance collaboration and inclusion, and manage risk. If you’d like to understand how your leadership team can engage in productive disagreements, contact us about our Leaders who Listen assessment tools, presentations, masterclasses and development programs.